I Wonder Where You’ve Ben…(“Happy Birthday!”)



As I begin, I was thinking about what age my husband would be, and this year would have been his 49th birthday. And then I began to wonder…


“I wonder what these past five and a half years in heaven have been like for you? I wonder who you have met? I wonder the events that you have experienced? I wonder how many hours a day you are worshipping the King? I wonder if you’ve had a hand at what’s happening around here? I wonder have you made any friends with angels? I wonder are they always on assignment or walking around like it’s common place? I wonder what your first question to Jesus was? I wonder if your face is shining from the light of the Son? I wonder the assignments you have been given to run? I wonder have you got to teach in heaven? I wonder what it was like to see your grandparents again and to meet other ancestors with a grin? I wonder your age? I wonder how it works when friends and family have dreams about you? Does something happen in heaven when that happens? I wonder the conversations in heaven that were happening leading up to your funeral? I wonder the angels who were sent out on many different assignments by the prayers of the saints that were on high alert? I wonder the lives that have been saved by your story? I wonder the impact?”


Ben’s impact will never stop. That is something I don’t ever have to wonder about, for the testimonies from the Ben S. Dillon Life Center will remain until eternity. His heart may have stopped, but the hearts that he touched and that still beat are carrying on in many forms to keep his essence present in our everyday lives. There isn’t a day he isn’t missed.


One New Year’s Eve, my niece, myself and the kids took paper lanterns and lit them off into the sky. We all wrote messages, but Stella’s was the one that hit the hardest. She wrote, “It was good with you, and it’s been good without you.” I couldn’t have said it better.


I am so thankful for the father he was to our children. They have no bad memories. Nobody does! That seems pretty unattainable, but it wasn’t for Ben because he was never trying to attain it. He was just trying to be intentional, and I think that it was pretty much the closest feeling of closeness to Jesus’ presence we had experienced. I heard this also from a lot of other people that felt the same way. What a testimony!! For, when you had a conversation with him, you felt loved, seen and never judged. He had compassion, but it really felt sincere. He was an amazing listener and he followed up too. He had an amazing laugh, a swag to his walk, loved a good cry, loved his family, and loved to surf, especially with his brother and father. He loved basketball! Loved taking his son to school every day. Loved seeing his daughter walk her way into pre-k. I could go on and on, for there are so many special memories.



Ben left an impact on so many, and since his passing, it is easy to think, “So, now what?” What do you do when someone with such a big impact leaves? You be a Ben for someone else, that’s what!! Become what you miss. It’s possible that all of his best qualities were fruits of the spirit activated in his life. You can grow those qualities or character traits as well. A life of kindness and tender intentional care is a need more than ever before in our current global climate.


If you knew Ben, you loved him, and I’m proud to say I am one of those people as well. He chose me to be his wife, and for 17 years, I loved him deeply. We had some amazing times.


Now, I do want to say, “The past is the past, and some of it was a blast." But, now it’s time to focus on the present and future stories for me and my family.” For we are living the after story for His glory. My focus is on our children, who have a destiny yet to be revealed, and for those reading here today. I’m about to launch a few new things, and your prayers for the coming days of preparation and marketing initiatives would be much appreciated. You will be the first to know what is ahead. I’m just working on some of the final details towards the land of the More, coming to a door near you. And new melodies are ahead! 🎶🎹🥁🎸🎤 Stay expectant! I know I am!!


If you want to leave your favorite memories of Ben in the comments, or share it on Facebook and Instagram, please do. The kids love to hear your stories and I do too.


Until next time,

Stay Tender

Connect to the Mender

Be a Sender


P.S. This song found me over the weekend. If you are wondering what Ben might be experiencing in heaven, this song should let you in on a little bit of the glory picture called HOME.


HOME (SINGLE) – LIVE IN THE PRAYER ROOM | JEREMY RIDDLE - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKX7qB6f92Y




#Ben #HappyBirthday #MyMendedHeart #Inthesendingcomesthemending


220 views8 comments

Recent Posts

See All